Small Mustard Seed

"Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights of the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain."
Philippians 2:14-16

"For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
2 Corinthians 12:10

These are going to be my cornerstone verses this year. These two concepts - complaining and discontentment - are things I constantly struggle with. But they have no place in my life if I claim to know the Lord. If I say that I believe in the healing power of Christ, and if I believe that Jesus rose from the grave and defeated sin, then I absolutely believe that He can have power in my life over these sins.

Here lies a problem tho, Christians today don't really believe that being discontent or complaining are actually sin! Seriously, I just said that!! Sure, most Christians would say they aren't good, but if you really looked at our lives and witnessed how much most of us Christians complain about daily circumstances or how unhappy we are with all of those circumstances, well, that there is evidence enough that we either take sin lightly, or we don't really think it's sinning.

Let me tell you, my complaining spirit and discontent for the life God has given me have been robbing my joy for most of my life. And I won't have it any longer! God has given us everything! And as an American, God has given me more than 90% of the people currently living on the planet, probably more than 99% of the people who have ever lived in the history of the earth! Sincerely though, knowing Christ and knowing that my future in eternal goodness is sealed in His sacrificial love gives me no reason to complain EVER. I mean it, EVER!!

No matter how much pain, suffering, ridicule, poverty, hunger, anything bad or uncomfortable that I should come to suffer, it will be a small puff of smoke in the long run. My desire for this year is to know this truth so deeply, that it is unshakeable by anything Satan can do. That no matter what unbelieving friends or strangers say or do to me, I desire to still take joy in God's promises. I want to understand the gravity of my ungratefulness and lack of faith to a degree that shames me so much for this way of past living, that I will NEVER go back there. And I know God can do it. It's almost scary to say this, but I believe He will! There is so much joy in saying that! There's also a small ounce of fear, b/c that means this year, I can be sure that Satan will put it to the test.

And I hope that you will too! Please, friends and family who know me, hold me accountable to this! I will also be doing some studying, praying and writing about these concepts more, in the hope that God will use it to solidify my faith in Him, and possibly, to solidify your faith in Him as well. No one in the history of the earth has made the promises and predictions that God has, and every prediction He has made so far had come to fruition! Wow. This gives me a lot to pray about. Please pray with me, for me and for your family. It's time that we come together as Christians and take a stand against sin, especially these sins that undermine our own faith and testimony. Believe that God's future grace can help you overcome any obstacles that comes your way and you will certainly see the evidence of this truth in your life!

Here are just a couple verses to leave you with.

"He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things?"
Romans 8:32

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ."
Ephesians 1:3

"And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him."
Hebrews 11:6

"These all died in faith (speaking of Old Testament followers of God), not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared for them a city."
Hebrews 11:13-16

These verses all speak to me in different ways. I hope to do some studying and writing on the idea of being dead to ourselves and this world we live in... I think this has amazing relevance to what God called Abraham and the Israelites to in the Old Testament... to be strangers in a foreign land... trusting God to take them there in His time, in His way.

Hope this new year brings you closer to God and understanding the gravity and surety of His love and promises for you! Stay in touch!

I'm not totally sure what drew me to the Thessalonians today. There are 2 books of Thessalonians in the bible (1st and 2nd - duh), and I was just thinking how I didn't really know anything about them. So, out of curiosity (and I'm sure a bit of divine guidance) I opened the bible app on my iPhone and started reading.

I was really surprised. Paul speaks so highly of these people, not admonishing them in anything really, more just encouraging them and teaching a few things. At first it struck me funny, thinking about what they must have been like. But now, looking at all the wonderful things Paul says about this group of people it's starting to make sense. He states over and over that they genuinely love others around them.  That their love continues to increase!

Then this verse - one I'm familiar with but never really knew where it was - caught my eyes.

"As for you, brothers, do not grow weary in doing good." 2 Thessalonians 3:13

There's actually another verse with this same phrasing...

"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

I guess I'm starting to see more of a connection between truly understanding the love God has for us and what His love can do through us, with the commitment to serve others around us. In our church body now, we are growing in numbers in our Sunday service, but decreasing in our numbers of people who are serving! It's truly frustrating. I cannot convince someone to give up more of their time to serve the church and the people here in McMinnville. Our pastor can't, our women's leadership can't, our youth group can't... you get the picture?

Only God can strike a persons heart to serve. And from looking at a VERY general overview of the Thessalonians, it appears that when we truly understand God's intentions, we will desire to serve and show His love more. It can be so tough to serve without "getting a break." I don't even serve as much as pastors or their wives, but I often grow weary with the few duties I've chosen to take on. Obligation can start to set in, feeling like no one else is doing anything or resentment towards those who don't participate can creep in and make me sour. But really, I should retain this confidence: if I can continue serving God and His body with the same love I would give to myself, relying on His strength to support me and His Spirit to move in others, I can continue serving despite the worst circumstances, fully trusting that I will reap a harvest one fine day.

Understanding God's promise of eternal glory is completely inseparable from having joy. There are so many tangents I could go onto from the few verses I am going to share, but today I'll stick with this... if we truly trust God for eternal salvation and our current sustenance, we have no other option than to be utterly joyful. True? It needs to be. The bible says there is nothing of greater value than our eternal salvation.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to His great mercy, He caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled and unfading kept in Heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith - more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire - may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen Him, you love Him. Though you do not now see Him, you believe in Him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls." 1 Peter 1:3-9

This is a weighty set of verses. There are so many concepts in here that are IMPORTANT and need more studying on my part and on all believers' parts. Really though, what I want to point out is the concept that our joy is evidence of our salvation. Not in a "If you're happy, people will want what you want." Or the "God fixes things in believers lives and makes us joyful" sense either. But in relation to the 1st commandment God gave the people of Israel: "You shall have no other God's before me." Exodus 20:3.

That may seem strange at first - idolatry and the issue of joy? But trust me, it is pivotal. You see, if you are putting something as higher priority than God, your joy will not be complete. If you desire ANYTHING else more than knowing God, this joy in eternity is not going to cut it. After reading this over and over I continue to be struck by the disastrous state of my own heart. Why is it we so easily find something else to fill God's place in our hearts? Peter tells us that when we genuinely believe in Him and His eternal glory, that we will obtain this glorious joy, which is the outcome of our faith, a kind of faith that brings salvation. Complete and genuine joy is evidence of our faith, and THIS kind of faith is where salvation lies. Is there another kind of faith? Nope, not one that God desires.

And that is what leads me to really ponder how well I know God, how much I really trust Him. If my joy is gone, if I cannot say "I will be with Christ someday and that is better than anything else!" despite ANY circumstance I find myself in, do I really believe God? Do I earnestly trust what He says? Because believing God is more than just "knowing" with my head who He is. James 1:19 says "You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that - and shudder!" Can we honestly say we think there is salvation in just saying "I know who God is and I believe Jesus was His son."? There must be a change of heart and a willingness to set aside all else to pursue Him.

The more I read this passage the more I realize how entangled I am in this world. I love the good things that God has blessed me with more than I love Him. I want better earthly objects more than I want to know Him. I want ease and comfort more than I want to learn His ways or help His people. This is the saddest epidemic in Christianity, that we strive to show others the truth and do not genuinely believe it ourselves. If you believe that God is the ruler of all and that Jesus was His son, who came and lived a perfect life, willingly placing Himself on the cross to pay the penalty for our sins, I beg you please... do not let another day go by without seeking Him and submitting your heart and life to Him. Even if you don't want to have joy or to change your ways or give up your rights, God can change the coldest of hearts and the hardest heads to bring a joy that is fulfilled in His promise of a glorious eternity. He never fails, in ANYTHING! You will find joy in knowing that He will give you more than you can imagine in your life with Him and it will far outweigh anything we can obtain here before we die.

Interesting passage. Never even noticed it before. So revealing about our human nature.

I first came across the story of Naaman while reading the book "Counterfeit Gods" by Timothy Keller. He shared this story while explaining our tendency to worship our abilities and accomplishments instead of God. The story is found in 2 Kings 5:1-14.

"1Naaman, commander of the army of the king of Syria, was a great man with his master and in high favor, because by him the LORD had given victory to Syria. He was a mighty man of valor, but he was a leper. 2Now the Syrians on one of their raids had carried off a little girl from the land of Israel, and she worked in the service of Naaman’s wife. 3She said to her mistress, "Would that my lord were with the prophet who is in Samaria! He would cure him of his leprosy." 4So Naaman went in and told his lord, "Thus and so spoke the girl from the land of Israel." 5And the king of Syria said, "Go now, and I will send a letter to the king of Israel."

So he went, taking with him ten talents of silver, six thousand shekels of gold, and ten changes of clothing. 6And he brought the letter to the king of Israel, which read, "When this letter reaches you, know that I have sent to you Naaman my servant, that you may cure him of his leprosy." 7And when the king of Israel read the letter, he tore his clothes and said, "Am I God, to kill and to make alive, that this man sends word to me to cure a man of his leprosy? Only consider, and see how he is seeking a quarrel with me."

8But when Elisha the man of God heard that the king of Israel had torn his clothes, he sent to the king, saying, "Why have you torn your clothes? Let him come now to me, that he may know that there is a prophet in Israel." 9So Naaman came with his horses and chariots and stood at the door of Elisha’s house. 10And Elisha sent a messenger to him, saying, "Go and wash in the Jordan seven times, and your flesh shall be restored, and you shall be clean." 11But Naaman was angry and went away, saying, "Behold, I thought that he would surely come out to me and stand and call upon the name of the LORD his God, and wave his hand over the place and cure the leper. 12Are not Abana and Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Could I not wash in them and be clean?" So he turned and went away in a rage. 13But his servants came near and said to him, "My father, it is a great word the prophet has spoken to you; will you not do it? Has he actually said to you, 'Wash, and be clean'?" 14So he went down and dipped himself seven times in the Jordan, according to the word of the man of God, and his flesh was restored like the flesh of a little child, and he was clean."


I think some of why this story really resonates with me is seeing how earnest Naaman was. He did not hide his astonishment or rage, and he heeded the advice of his lowly servants. Now, there are many "issues" in this story - how Naaman tried to pay the king with riches to heal him, how he tried to use his reputation to save himself and how he expected a big show in his being healed - but ultimately it is a story of human nature and what it means to have faith in action. How interesting that he would be so upset at the idea of simply dipping in a river to be cleansed... that he was so stubborn, he actually went to leave without being healed!

We are SO like Naaman. We all know people who "know" about God and Jesus, yet for some reason, they choose not to believe it. They think they believe in God, but not enough to actually be saved. Just how Naaman believed that Elisha's God would heal him, but at first, not enough to actually do the simple task he was explicitly told to do. Naaman knew he was going to die from Leprosy, no questions there, and yet he almost walked away, while fully knowing the cure! We know that every person living on earth will someday die (besides those still alive at the Lord's coming) but we act like there is nothing we need to do about it. Really folks, what do you think will happen if you let sin continue to control your life?

It will certainly not be just the consequences of your actions. Let me challenge you with this: be like Naaman. If you believe there is a God, go find Him! For goodness sake, don't sit there pursuing things in the world that will perish along with your body. Seek after God and He will not let you down. Don't try to be your best while fooling yourself into thinking it will be enough. The answers are in God's word, and if you really think He is God yet continue to put every other thing in life above pursuing Him, you will be very disappointed to say the least. In this life and after your body perishes.

My hope is that you will choose a side and that it would be God's side. Be bold enough to follow Him. There are enough people claiming to be Christians while loving only themselves... the world does not need more of these. The world does not need or benefit from those saying they think there is a God and that's it. Either trust Him as God, as the ultimate authority of life on earth, or reject Him completely. Someday, we will all find, that there is no middle ground. Don't do what Naaman almost did and stay terminally ill. Follow through with the promise God has given. He will never leave us or forsake us, our salvation is coming and we must take action to attain it.

Man, this week has been such a week of conviction for me. My attitude towards my husband pretty much stinks most of the time. It's crazy how selfish we can be when left to ourselves! I realized that I have been so concerned about getting the rest I "needed" that I've been saving my energies and not serving him. This weekend, I listened to a lot of sermons via my iphone while painting our new office and God's Spirit was really with me, speaking to me and opening my heart. I saw that I was not even loving my children or my husband as myself, I was only loving only myself and trying to serve in ways that preserved my desires and energies. Anyway, that is just one of the many things that has been on my heart.


We've been reading in Luke, and when I say we, I mean our small bible study group that gets together every other Sunday night. It's not church affiliated, just a group of us who earnestly want to see Christians in action and to know God and see Him work through us. Recently, we were talking with some people about the whole retirement concept and what it means when we save our money for the future. In Luke 12:16-21, here's what Jesus says, 


And he told them a parable, saying, "The land of a rich man produced plentifully, and he thought to himself, 'What shall I do, for I have nowhere to store my crops?' And he said, 'I will do this: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I will say to my soul, Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.' But God said to him, 'Fool! This night your soul is required of you, and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?' So is the one who lays up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God."


The conversation we had with another fellow believer was thought-provoking. He was trying to draw the line between being this fool and providing for His family. He was asking earnestly "Is it 'providing for my family' by saving for my wife's well-being in the future if she needs it, or is it sinning - not helping others who can use the money now?" Definitely a question that needs to be asked. Our American standard for living is so insane! I don't even know where we got this concept from!! Not to say this isn't a valid question. There is also the idea that if you're leaving it for others behind you, then it's not a waste. We really need to examine all these ideas before we start automatically sinking into our culture's practices.


It's tough in our culture though. We do not care for elderly parents as others do, the church does not make sure widows' bills are paid and we do not take in children whose parents are slacking or need help. So, we decided to just start taking care of ourselves. Then, since people were all taking care of themselves, we no longer offer to help because we need to take care of ourselves. Really? Who takes care of us? Is it really foolish to say "I will take care of others first, fully resting on God's ability to take care of me." This is not a popular stand in church today sadly. We try to determine what is okay instead of having our ultimate goal be "being rich towards God."


Issues like this can show us where we put our faith. I really think it's important to ask ourselves why we have these standards of living and retirement. We should be asking ourselves every day "What am I doing all this for?" Personal ambition, self-sufficiency, lack of faith in God's provision and most importantly, lack of belief in what God will reward me for in eternity? Seriously, isn't that it? Doesn't it boil down to not believing that serving everyone except myself with all of my possessions, all of my energy while fully relying on His Spirit and His ability to meet my needs? For me, it really does. I have my own agenda, my own ambitions and my own ideas of what will fulfill me and how to take care of me. But I can guarantee, when I chase after all that, I am chasing something completely unreal, something that perishes before the world even will. Let's ask ourselves this everyday - "Do I truly desire to gain my rewards in Heaven or on earth?" If the answer is Heaven, then there has to be a change.

This last weekend I went to our annual Women's Retreat. It was such a great time of conviction, enjoying my sisters in Christ (and my real sister) and just taking in what God has been doing in my life. The past few years have been extremely trying and I constantly find myself looking for a "solution" for all the areas in my life that seem to be falling apart. Part of what Beth Moore spoke about in her video series "Loving Well" was how we are to love others trusting God to fill our well and overflow us. One of her phrases was "God will not love THROUGH us what He will not love TO us."

I find this consistent with scripture and have seen it clearly at different times in my life. Proverbs 11:25 says "Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and he who waters will himself be watered."In so many instances we have given and later, clearly see God give right back to us. Even when we did not give out of our need He still continued to bless us just for blessing others. I see it weekly with the use of my time alone!

Now, many of you young moms probably feel as I do - we do not always see the rewards for loving our children or spouses right away. After all, a 6 month old doesn't have much skill to really "water me" back :) But God is so much bigger than what we can see or even comprehend. His blessings aren't limited by a person's ability, by a person's time or abundance. I've often see God bless my husband's work after committing my efforts toward blessing my family instead of searching for my own rewards.

After this weekend, I have a renewed sense of God's promise to provide for me. He provides not only all my material needs but also works where I don't see to keep me from going off the deep end emotionally. When I wake up feeling at the end of my rope yet choose to act according to His commandments of love, fully trusting the Spirit of God to work in me, somehow, I make it through the day with incredible peace. Not to say I won't continue to face trials or that my days will be filled with ease, but I do know that loving others without hesitation is the only way to allow God to fill me up. When I am already full of His love yet refuse to water others, I will only remain how I am and won't experience the amazing reality of God's active love. This love is alive and constantly moving the hearts of His believers to give to others who are just like us -  people who don't deserve God's love but people who God desperately desires and gave everything for. What could be a greater calling in life?

Asher has an iphone... don't worry, it doesn't have service or anything, but we put a couple movies on there for him to watch on and off. We recently put the movie "Joseph - King of Dreams" on his phone and it has really made me curious about the biblical version of this story. I was surprised to read that much of the movie is very accurate to the real story (Genesis 30-the end).

What really impresses me about the story of Joseph is the blessing upon his life everywhere he went. That, and seeing God's faithfulness over and over again throughout his entire life. I think there are few people in the bible who's entire life is so well documented - David, Moses, Paul and still more but they are the exception. Over and over again, God makes Joseph prosper in every position he is in - as a slave and ruler in Potipher's house, as a prisoner in a jail and lastly as a ruler over most of Egypt. Even in jail, he was in charge of all the other prisoners!

It is such a blessing to see stories of people's lives where God is faithful to the end. To see Joseph's life fully restored is something we don't often see happen to many in this world. Many people live and die without ever seeing lost family, fixing strained relationships and saddest of all, never coming to know God for the gracious and loving God He is. I have been so surprised and blessed by the things I've been reading in the Old Testament. I've also been challenged, realizing how little I actually know and discovering that my lack of knowledge is only due to complacency and not actually paying attention to what I read. Seeing God's faithfulness to so many people throughout history has given me renewed hope and trust in His promises. I hope this little excerpt on Joseph will encourage many of you to look at God's word with a desire to know Him more and grow in your faith as well. I am sure you'll be surprised at what He will reveal to you.

I don't have a verse or a thought specifically to offer up tonight. It's been a while since I wrote and I feel that I can say with honesty, I have been busy :)

I found one reason why I haven't felt as close to God lately as I have in the past. When I was childless and had a working vehicle I drove A LOT!! I drove to West Linn a few days a week, out to see my sis a day or two, down to Coos Bay 4-6 times a year... and I almost always listened to Christian music wherever I was going. It made me sad to realize I am missing out on a lot of time I used to spend hearing God's messages, thinking about Him and praying for others. It's hard to imagine getting that time back anytime soon, at least getting it back in a way that is as convenient as it used to be. I never realized the full impact children would have on my life.

I hope that you single and childless women can take this posting earnestly and consider the abundance of time and freedom you have. Because honestly, no matter how busy you are, you will not have any more free time or just plain freedom available to you once you have kids than what you have now. I get much more done in a day now than I did before children - they force you to make the most of your time! So I attempt daily to make the most of what I have. And that includes attempting to learn what God has for me and act on the impulses He gives me to serve, pray and just get closer to Him. I still struggle to know Him and understand His depth of love and concern for me, but the more I gain that understanding and wisdom, the more I will desire His will and be content with the life He has planned for me. My hope is for you to desire a relationship with Him; that you will toss aside what you do out of convenience and make sure life doesn't just "happen" to you, but that you allow God to bless you with His love and life He wants to give you.