In my mind, being tempted has always seemed like a certain situation. You're standing there looking at something you really want and you're tempted to steal it or someone is being really mean to you and you are tempted to hit them. God has really opened my eyes lately as to what temptation and salvation are and how I can get a better grasp of them in my own life.
In church we've been going through the book of Acts and we recently came to the chapter where Stephen gives the testimony of Christ's deliverance and thus, is stoned to death. Here's the passage if you'd like to take a minute to read it... Acts 6:8-end, all of chapter 7. He basically gives an account of God's people throughout history. We see that he is pointing out to the Jews that over and over again that they have refused the deliverance of God. We see them desire to be in bondage again in Egypt rather than on their way to the promised land. Then they prefer to wander the desert instead of going into the promised land. They pleaded with Aaron to give them a god they could see, one they could control, instead of surrendering to the God who would give them everything they desired. Israel constantly rebuked and killed prophets coming to them with God's word and Stephen reveals to them that they did the same with God's son Jesus.
Our pastor really pointed out the idea of us rejecting deliverance. He talked about people wanting to live in their sin rather than surrendering to God, which is very true and sad. But I began to realize how much of my life I did not want to be saved from. My selfishness, my anger, my control and my desire to be better than everyone (yes, sad but true). And it's all because I don't want to admit that I need help! I don't want to change but I have no idea why! God has given us a way out, even from our own personalities and bad habits. There is a freedom we were given in Christ's death... to have power over sin! Yet even us believers continue to wallow in our sinful nature instead of asking God to truly change us.
"There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, to those who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit, For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin; He condemned sin in the flesh, that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit."
Romans 8:1-4
The past few weeks have just really awakened me to all the things in my life that are so out of whack. I really aim to serve myself, I am not concerned for the well-being of others and I get so personally offended by others who are simply living the way I am as well. Even though it doesn't feel like my idea of temptation, I saw that I was constantly tempted to react to people and situations in a selfish and unloving way. A change in my heart was certainly overdue but I didn't even want there to be one. I saw myself like the Israelites who would rather stay in bondage than surrender themselves and live in peace. This was just one of the many times I've simply had to confess to the Lord that I am selfish and I don't want to change but I know that I am living in sin and don't want to continue down that path.
It really has to be God changing us. If we're doing it ourselves, it's only out of selfishness and pride and it will never reveal the love of Christ to others around us. I'm still working on all these things, but let us be reminded daily of our need to turn over our emotions, reactions and our thoughts to God... He is the only one who can make good use out of them.
